I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
