all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize