A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
