I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
