i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
