I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
