Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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