he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
