Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You were trust falling into bushes
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
