he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
