I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Randomize
