her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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