You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
where does the pee come out of this thing
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Randomize