You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
