is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
