I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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