dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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