I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
