Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
