her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
