You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
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