I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Randomize
