you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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