I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
