Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
