HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
now i know why i became what i already was.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
