It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
