i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Come see our sink grown plant.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
