Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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