so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
