when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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