was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
