why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
