I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
