I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
