I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
