I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
