So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
What a dumb baby whore.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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