you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
We need to feng shui this bitch.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
