hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
