You really coming over, don't trick.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
