i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
