i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
