I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Randomize
