If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
