I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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