I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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