sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize