Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
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