she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
