Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
