I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
