if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
