I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
