How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
