I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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