I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
