He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drake has all the answers
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
