Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize