South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
