Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
