Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
