Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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