Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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