I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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