I CAN MOONWALK!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
