We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
