Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
if you like me you must not know who I am
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
