whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
