can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My dad is sitting where you rode me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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