I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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