Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
