I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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